neu year’s resolutions
Recaps are cliche, right? Right.
Well…I took a brief hiatus, taking time to start out my senior year of college at Spelman, catch Covid-19 (Omarion, to be exact), and come back to kick off the neu year. I am good for a reinvention, a revamp. When I need a change of scenery, whether its physically or personally, I enter a neu era. 2021 was a chaotic second year in this new decade. This season opener to the roaring 20s has been nothing short of transformative. From grief to imposter syndrome to an under-quarter crisis, these 20-somethings are actually…something. My mind has been in a state of delusion, in the brain fog not just a notable consequence of the ‘rona. I have stapled this quote by Zora Neale Hurston to the wall in my mind: “There are years that ask questions and years that answer.” I think this year gave a lot of answers to the questions that have frequented the fog. These answers lead me to a neu era.
I spent most of the 20s chasing perfection. Inhumanely, I believed that my accomplishments = my worthiness. Although I tried adamantly ton reject the dehumanizing “booked and busy” culture that frequents our society, I couldn’t help but to feel left behind and discarded in my grief and fatigue. As social media highlighted the moves and accomplishments that people managed to accumulate in the midst of the pandemic, I felt that I was unproductive and lazy. Right? As the world spins and chaos ensues, I frantically grasp at figuring out how to measure up. A pitiful existence to exhaust your body to a shell and burn out just to feel meaningful. And, I know I was not alone. It seemed that everyone around me was burning out to get to productivity and accolades.
Couldn’t just surviving this year be enough? Well, my neu year’s resolution is to accept that simply surviving is enough. That I am enough. and everything more than that.
Creating a vision of 2022 would entail seems to be the only glimmer of hope we have for the future. These past few years have been cruel and unforgiving. My only hope for 2022 is that this year gives me more answers than questions, more relief and comfort than pain. I spent 2021 stuck in my brain fog, uncertain of my future and my peace. Every move I made was cautious, as if I was waiting for the other shoe to drop. so miss two-thousand and twenty-two, I hope you come in here like you got some sense.
